On Being a Parent and Venting

At the end of this month, Liz will be turning eight years old.  I adore my child with every inch of my being.  She is the most precious gift that I have ever been given.  What I am about to write doesn't change ANY of that, okay?

Being a parent is hard.  Being the parent of a special needs child is extremely hard.  Parents of children that don't have special needs can freely vent about the stress of being a parent, and NO ONE thinks anything of it.  However, the second you add in a child with special needs, that's taken away from us.  Somehow venting about the stress of doctors' appointments, schools, etc. makes us "bad parents" to some people.  We aren't bad parents.  We're ordinary people with extraordinary worries.  For some of us, our lives are punctuated by doctor appointments and therapy visits for our children.  Mix that with stresses about our childrens' schools and learning problems.  We're a stressed out group of people.

We deserve to be able to take some time for ourselves.  We deserve to be able to say, "Wow!!  My family is driving me crazy today!!" and not have people look at us and judge us as bad parents.  We're not complaining about our KIDS; we're complaining about our STRESS!!

And just because we're parents of special needs children does not mean that we aren't human.  We are going to get frustrated, and angry.  We're going to need people to listen to us, and not judge us for that.  It doesn't mean we don't love our kids.  It doesn't mean we hate our lives.  I love my family.  I love my life.  At one point a few years ago when things were terrible with Liz's health and school for her really stunk, I was bemoaning the situation, and just really feeling sorry for myself.  My sister asked me, "If you could go back and make Liz healthy, would you?  Would you change anything, Marisa?"  My answer was, "Absolutely not.  She is perfect the way that she is."  Sometimes, though, the stress kicks my butt, and I need someone to listen to me.