Two Weeks

And so the new count of days since the last seizure has begun.  It has been fourteen days. 

The question I get often now is, "So, she's okay now?"  Every single time I say yes I feel like I'm lying.  Is she okay now?  Right now in this very second, yes, she's fine.  Is she cured?  No, she's not.  This will probably happen again.  That's not what people want to hear, though, is it? 

I mean, I get it.  No one wants to hear about sick kids, so when they ask if she's okay, they need to hear yes more than anything.  Right now she's absolutely amazing and fantastic.  She's beautiful and golden.  Her spirit is strong, and her personality is fun.  The thing that I'm struggling the most with right now is going back to living with the fear of what's next.  Please understand that we're not living IN fear.  We're living WITH it.  It's currently occupying the raw hole in hearts that was ripped open two weeks ago.  It's our new best friend.

Fear is good, though.  We're on alert.  Hopefully we won't be caught unaware again.  That's the worst part, I think. Well, that and not being able to find out the cause.  I'd love to be able to hook her up to machine and identify a cause, and then remove the cause. 

She wants a bowling birthday party.  I think we're going to make it happen.